I hope you all have had a great first week of November. It is finally starting to feel like fall here in Texas – I even busted out my boots and leather jacket for the first time this season! (Hey, we have to get excited about those small things, right?!) I can’t believe my favorite holiday of Thanksgiving is just around the corner! What are you guys most excited about this month?
I know last week I promised a video with a yoga sequence for back pain for you guys. I wrote the sequence out this week and practiced it and was all ready to film it today when I woke up this morning with no motivation to actually do it. I am just feeling really frayed. I went out to breakfast with my husband this morning and was brainstorming ways to motivate myself to get this video done today. And all I could keep thinking about was how I would have no other free time today if we filmed at his studio.
“I need to do laundry. I need to clean the bathroom. I need to buy groceries. I NEED TO SLEEP,” I kept thinking. “But I need to do this blog post that I promised I would do! My readers are counting on me!”
Oh, the internal struggle.
I love my blog. I love working hard on my blog. I love writing! But I am/was putting this extreme pressure on myself to deliver perfection. And why? You guys out there reading my blog are awesome and I love all of you. But the point of this blog is to be real. Not be fake and have you guys think I have my life all figured out and orderly.
Because if I’m being real here? I most certainly do NOT have my life all figured out. I like to pretend like I do, but the reality is that I’m finding out what works as I go. Today’s truth? I’m tired. I don’t want to do anything. I’ve spent the past two months moving, leaving my first job, starting a new one, and adjusting to having a busy social life again. Do not get me wrong: I love that we now live closer to my family and our friends. But I’m learning more and more as I age that I am an introvert. I not only want – but need – time alone to recharge my batteries. I’m what they call an “outgoing introvert.” I very much enjoy spending time with my people, but I also need to fuel that with “me” time. And you know what? I haven’t done that since we moved. It’s been “go! go! go! go!!” ever since we made this big transition.
So, yes. I’m tired. And I’m so incredibly sorry that you guys are getting the bad end of this deal. I’m sacrificing something to get some rest and that, today, is the video I promised you guys last week. But, I have some awesome ideas for this blog and I’m really analyzing what angles work best for me when it comes to marketing and being on social media. I recently deleted both of my twitter accounts (the one for this blog and my personal one). I took the Facebook app off my phone so I could reconnect with the individuals I decide to spend my time with versus staring at our screens the whole time we’re together. I’m hoping that putting stricter boundaries in place for me and social media will lend more time to writing (both the blog and in my journal), yoga, meditation, playing with my puppy, and deeper conversations. I’m excited about implementing some of these ideas, and I hope you’ll follow along on the blog, my Facebook page, Instagram, and my YouTube page!
Please forgive me for not following through on my yoga video this week, but here are a couple of things I’ve learned about myself when I accepted I truly am an introvert:
- I need quiet time.
This can be just me with some music, meditation, sitting on the porch with a cup of tea, or journaling. This can also be me by myself watching a movie. Or surfing the internet. (Or pinning on pinterest..) It can be me going on a walk with my dog. Or yoga. Or laying in bed with a good book. Whatever it is I’m needing in that moment. Right now, my quiet time is consisting of me typing this and music. My husband is slowly learning that when I say I need quiet, he knows to go somewhere and not be seen. (He’s very extroverted, so for awhile this would really offend him. He’s slowly, slowly, starting to understand my introvert ways a little better. 🙂 )
- I need to prepare for social situations.
If we’re going to a party, I need to know about it at least a few days in advance so I can prepare. What do I mean by prepare? I mean I need to get my social “juices” ready. I hate small talk. How long can people really talk about the weather? I love having long, intense conversations with friends and family. I thrive off of that. (Quality time is my love language.) Most parties you meet new people and do what? Have small talk. It would be really weird if I met a new person and immediately asked “So who is your favorite American President in all of history and why?” (One of my favorite questions to ask people and yes, you can steal it. And yes, you are welcome.) I have to prepare for the small talk aspect of new social situations. Like I said, I am a pretty social person, but I’m choosy about who I spend my time with. Social gatherings are a different ballgame that need prep time for me.
- I don’t do “spontaneous” very well.
This goes a long with #2 to a degree, but is a little different. If I’m planning to go to the movies with my husband and we decide to meet up with friends for dinner instead, I have to switch gears and prepare for that decision. It’s a little harder for me to just ditch our previously planned outing and get excited for the new one. I may be perfectly happy with the new decision, but I need to know what’s going to happen as much as possible in advance.Throwing curve balls at me is likely going to end with me feeling tense or wound up. (I find this one ironic because my job requires a lot of flexibility and going with the flow that does not bother me. Maybe that’s why I need a little more structure in my personal life? Analyzing…analyzing…)
- Sometimes I have to force myself to be social.
There are definitely nights (most nights) that I’d rather stay home and watch TV than go to happy hour. Not always! But at least half of the time. Those times I have to motivate myself to go be social. I’m always (most of the time) happy I did whatever it was afterwards, but it’s hard sometimes to feel the drive to do them. If you’re meeting up with me in person, you can almost always guess that I had to convince myself to get out of the house. I don’t mean that to be offense, because if I’m scheduling to meet up with you, it means I genuinely care about you and like spending time with you. I just really like laying in my bed and reading a good book.
- I never get bored by myself.
I love being by myself. My husband is the complete opposite of this – he craves spending time with others and needs that. Me? Nah. I can (and have) spend a whole weekend by myself, not leaving my house, and never get bored. I can bet at least half of my readers now are thinking “that’s freakin’ weird, Beth”, but it’s so totally true. I am not lying at all. Silence is nice. Music is even better. Having time to think just for yourself? It’s magical, guys. I urge you to really try and learn to love your alone time.
So, it may not have been a video like I promised, but I definitely had fun writing this post. It’s helping me understand what I’m needing when I’m feeling so low on energy. I’m going to spend the rest of the day replenishing my juices so I can feel fresh this week.
What do you guys do to feel refreshed? Are you an introvert, or an extrovert? How do you spend your alone time?
Happy OM’ing and namaste. ❤