I’m just going to be honest here:
I have writer’s block.
It’s a problem.
I want to write. I want to keep posting blogs, but I’m finding that I’m at a loss for words. I haven’t even been writing in my personal journal as much as normal. This is weird for me. I’ve been an avid journaler since I was in elementary school.
Things have been busier for me than normal, and I think that is zapping my energy. I just started a new job, and it’s overwhelming. In a good way, of course, but overwhelming nonetheless. It’s a new system, it’s a new population, it’s new people, and new challenges. My brain feels fried at the end of the day every single day, and I just don’t feel like using it to fuel creativity at the moment.
This is hard for me. When I commit to something, I follow through. If I say I’m going to write a blog post once a week, well dammit, I’m going to write a blog post every week. I beat myself up and make myself feel awful when I don’t want to or cannot.
A yogi that I follow and is a constant source of inspiration is Kathryn Budig. I talked about her in a past post when I was blogging about yoga and body image. But she recently released her new book, Aim True. (Her book is visually beautiful and full of lovely stories, recipes, and asanas. She advocates “eating the freakin’ pasta” and I was sold.) Each week, she has been challenging her instagram followers to do something that aligns with what her book is about. I decided to play along, not only because it seemed like a fun challenge but because there are prizes at the end. Who doesn’t want the chance to win a fun prize?!
Anyway, the first week she challenged us to write a positive affirmation in the mirror. I thought about what I’d write for a while. And I ended up, unknowingly, writing about acceptance. In my post, I wrote this caption:
The first challenge with @kathrybudig for her #AimTrueBook challenge is posting a positive affirmation on your mirror.
Mine is all about learning that acceptance and love comes from yourself first, not others or things. Repeat to self daily. Working on me is always a struggle but oh so important so I can help others do the same. So I will be me, unabashedly, and learn to love me. The rest will follow. #wholeheartbliss #aimtrue
Then, this current week’s challenge was to set an intention along with the new moon on April 7th. This is what I wrote in my caption for that photo:
Week 3 of @kathrynbudig #aimtruebook challenge is setting an intention with the new moon tonight. I wrote mine in my journal, meditated on it, and said it aloud while lighting my favorite candle.
My intention is this – more acceptance. I feel like this word has been creeping a lot for me.
Acceptance that I don’t have all the answers. Acceptance that I may screw up at my new job. Acceptance that I may miss my long hair a little but I still love my short hair and acceptance that this doesn’t really matter either way. Acceptance that I may fart in yoga class sometimes. Acceptance that I’m more than my body. Acceptance that I’m not perfect and I need to release my sometimes unrealistic expectations for myself. Acceptance that I can’t give up chai tea lattes from Starbucks. Acceptance that life is hard but it’s also beautiful and the challenges make it worthwhile.
Acceptance. Acceptance. Acceptance.
Happy new moon, lovelies. ❤
Acceptance is such a key word for me right now. It is becoming my meditation mantra and the blood flowing through my veins. I’m learning to let go of this silly notion that I’ll be an unsuccessful blogger if I don’t follow through on weekly blog posts. I’m adjusting to the fact that I’m still a yogi even if I don’t get on my mat every single day.
Basically, I’m accepting that I’m human. I’m accepting that I’m learning. I’m accepting that it’s ok to be easy on myself.
So, for now, I’m going to keep trying to write. But if you don’t hear from me for awhile, just know that I’m still here and I’m still keeping on. I’ll be back. I may not even be gone for that long. But I’m taking a step back and letting this lack of desire to write wash over me; I’m going to explore this idea and see where it takes me. It may open a whole new door for me. I’m needing acceptance, and so I will give that to myself. As a gift from within. And I’m accepting that this is alright.
What are some things you struggle with accepting?